Monday, January 18, 2010

"Maybe They're Just Not That Into Me"

Dear Abby,

It's the story of my life *sigh*

A couple of weeks ago, it dawned on me (yeah, dawn does break on Marblehead occasionally) I had not received any bright, full-color, horticultural-eye-candy-filled plant catalogs enticing me to purchase their spring wares. Apparently, there was fineprint on the mail-forwarding dohickey-thing I filled out at the post office that informed me the plant/seed catalogs were NOT going to be sent onto me in Colorado. I'd neglected to read that part, I guess. Therefore, I did what every self-respecting plantaholic would do: I went online and signed up to receive every horticulturally-related catalog under the sun (don't worry, I recycle).

Now, here is what I don't understand: two weeks later, where are my catalogs? Each day, I inspect the mailbox. Waiting expectantly. Salivating. Each day, I continue to be disappointed. Don't they want my business? Or is it 'they're just not that into me'?

Wondering how to ascertain as such, I went to the experts for their opinion and adapted the criteria I found to help me answer that question.

Now I know, nurseries/seed distributors are just not that into me if:

1. They don't get back to me in less than TWO weeks.

2. They aren't sensitive to my growing needs.

3. They don't listen to me, or respect my opionions AND returns!

4. They leave me hanging on a figurative trellis, waiting for catalogs.

5. They do not bring out the best gardener in me (or they would give me plants that will not die).

6. They don't make me WANT to WANT them!

7. They don't call me to see if I need something.

8. They don't take the time to get to know my friends, putting them on their mailing lists :-)

9. They don't put my name in their little black book, in stone, with a star beside it.

10. They don't take an interest in my interests, (okay, so maybe I don't want them sending out spybots to infiltrate my facebook and twitter accounts, sending me advertisements).

11. They don't bring me flowers anymore. They don't ship my order the whole way, but instead make me meet them in a seedy part of Nevada behind some pokey cactus thing.

12. They continually backorder the things I ask for.

So far, only Bluestone Perennials, Burpee and Park are into me (yeah, I got THEIR catalogs).

Tell me how you know when a nursery is into you! What clues you into knowing someone wants YOUR business? Do you have an outstanding customer service story? A favorite nursery? A mail order source you'd recommend? I'd love to hear about it!


Needing A Plant Catalog Fix In CO (aka Needing Nursery Validation)


Bren said...

I hear ya... I have been acting like a crack addict when it comes to SEEDS lately! GREAT POST!

magsterama said...

If we had a print catalog I would send you one RIGHT NOW but alas, all I can do is point you to our online catalog (and tell you that you can use the coupon code "supporter" for 25% off anything we sell....).

I have the reverse catalog problem, myself. Last year I signed up for every garden catalog known to man so I could do some research and now that I work for a seed company I receive catalogs from a bajillion different places. Of course, I do enjoy my garden porn.... :)