Mikki's Love

Mikki.

She has been my friend. For twelve years.

For twelve years I took her for granted. Thinking she would be around today, tomorrow and next year. But I have learned that nothing is forever. And that the worst thing you can do is to not appreciate those you love.

You see, this awakening, this realization comes from recently discovering that Mikki is dying.

Mikki is my tri-color australian shepherd/golden retriever dog. In these, her last remaining days, she has been "speaking" to me. Imparting cherished and important truths. Mikki my friend, my dog, has been teaching me. You might say, making sure I learn something from her. Now, it is important to note here, Mikki is a gentle, intelligent, compassionate, devoted, loving companion with a somewhat sly, yet innocent, sense of humor.

Example: she is having trouble walking but when she really wants to, she can jump up on the back of the sofa in order to see the mailman and bark wildly, for sure incessantly, at him (which has been a favorite pastime during the entire course of her life!). When she sees me looking at her in surprise, she jumps back off, slinks with a limp to the rug, lays down with a sigh, looks pitiful and sad, appearing to say "What? That wasn't me. That musta been a short-term miracle cuz I can barely walk! In fact, I'm so weak, I think I need some more of that salami and cheese."

While Mikki is still with me, which will not be for long now, I will enjoy her, spoiling her rotten with love, food and furniture rights. She is unabashedly and certainly soaking up this pampering with all she's got! Almost smiling as she reclines on the leather furniture :) I will mourn later.

This leads me to the important life lessons I think she wants me to know and remember.

If you knew your life was almost over, how would you spend the time you have left? Here is what Mikki says:

• Eat anything you want like lots of salami, cheese, canned food and cat poop.
• It is okay to spit out your medicine if you don't like the taste.
• Spend as much time as you wish laying around on the sofa, the leather one. Oh, the bed, too.
• Sleep until you get to eat again or until you have to go outside to the bathroom and then do it on the patio of you can't make it to the garden.
• Let everyone else clean up after you.
• Speak your mind to mailmen, UPS drivers, young whippersnapper puppies, squirrels or anyone else who catches your attention.
• Don't let anyone make you take a bath, whine, they will give up. (okay, forget this one, they will give you a bath ANYWAY, don't fight it, it gets over with faster)
• Lick other's ears. Like your sister's. Alot.
• Pass gas when you want, they will just pat your head and say in that baby voice "Isn't that cute?!"
• Look appealing so everyone who walks by has to stop and rub their hands all over you (feel you up).
• Use any and all looks to get whatever you want.
• Drink until it is running out the other end.
• If you don't feel so hot, you don't have to exercise.
• That although someone might be physically gone, the memories never go away.

And most importantly . . .

• Accept love and give love completely, unconditionally, never taking each other for granted for in the blink of an eye the one you love could be gone.

If it is one thing Mikki has done exceptionally well, it has been loving me without conditions, even when I took her for granted.

I am going to spend my time . . . loving. No matter how long I have.

Can "simple" animals teach us humans something valuable? I think they can.

If you had little time left . . . how would you spend it?

Too Soon Extinguished

Sweet, humorous, kind-hearted, respectful. Those are words one would use to describe him. Now there is another to add to the list: gone.

This morning, my son John called me from the road as he was returning from his spring break trip to Florida. The last few days, I must admit, were a bit nerve-wracking for me since I’d not heard from him except for a late-night missed call Thursday night with no message left.

Anxiety-causing.

This morning, my son John called to let me know that his classmate, Donnie, from Newport had taken his own life. Sweet, humorous, kind-hearted, respectful Donnie. Now gone.

To describe the shock is not possible. To fathom his family’s grief is not possible. To pray that it will never be my child and no other family will have to go through such grief IS possible and I’ve prayed that all day long.

It also brought to mind the blog of a young 15 year old friend of mine. She wrote it recently and in it she wrote she felt she no longer wanted to live. I spoke to her of my concern for her which had been growing over the last three months. She acknowledged she has such feelings and is depressed. Fortunately, she also made them known to her parents who had noticed a change in her as well and are going to get her some help. I wanted to let her know I am here for her.

Anytime.

Reach out to the young people around you. Get to know them. Sometimes they need someone in addition to their parents to be there for them.

I’ve no details about what happened this morning and I may never have any. Too many times in such situations, no one ever discovers the why, as if there is ever any good "why" as to such sadness.

But I do know this: today a young man’s life was extinguished all too early and we are left heartbroken. We need to love on the young people around us, they may need it. And you, nor they, may even know it.

Be there.

Passing of a Well-Loved Pet

The last few days have been difficult ones. Saying good-bye to a loved-one whether it is a person or a pet is painful to say the least.

I want to thank my friends that have sent kind words and those that have been here for me these past few days. I needed such support. It has meant a great deal during a sad, trying time.

As Kiki awaited her freedom from her suffering this morning cradled in my arms, she purred, slowly blinking as she looked at me. I felt her trust in me. Tangible. I could see it in her eyes. The sense that instinctively she knew I sought to free her from her pain.

And so, just like in so many years . . . she loved. She purred, she pressed her cheek into my breast . . . and she loved. A silent thank you. For loving her enough to do this.

"Could I but give you comfort in my death,
How might I tell you what you meant to me?
All I did, both night and day, was love you,
Rulers of my kingdom and my heart.
Like gods, at last you claimed my painful breath,
Opening the door to mystery,
The final gift of all the gifts you gave me,
Taking what I could no longer give you
Even if I tried with all my heart."

Author Unknown

Peace, Kiki. You are loved and will be missed. Thank you for loving me back.

Catch ya on the fly, mom.